Monday, September 20, 2010

The Moment We've All Been Waiting For..

OK, it's Paleo Challenge time. I got the rules at my gym, and this challenge is going to be easier than I thought. Not easy in the sense that you can eat whatever you want, but easy as in any idiot can follow it. So here is how it works.

4 Points - Perfect day. No cheating at all. You ate meat,eggs, vegetables, nuts and some fruit. You also drank a shizz ton of water. Good job.

3 Points - One tiny cheat. You had cream in your coffee or a spoonful of peanut butter. Even using ketchup makes it a 3 point day.

2 Points
- One medium sized cheat. Everything is Paleo but you drank a beer, or you ate a baked potato. You are accumulating fat by the second. Get with the program.

1 Point- One bad meal. You eat a Paleo breakfast and lunch but then you take down a bag of chips,a burger (with bread)and fries. Everyone hates you at this point.

0 Points - You got your period today. You ate ice cream for breakfast, 15 twinkies for lunch, a box of Rice Krispie Treat cereal for a snack, and 75 candy necklaces for dinner. You also drank a 12 pack of coke and 30 pack of Guinness. A zero point day is when you just blow it.

Additional Information:

4 Points for every CrossFit workout you do.
1 Point for every half hour of additional exercise.

I understand that if you are going to do this challenge off this blog you might be saying " who cares about all these points if I am not going to win a trip to spring break Cancun at the end?" I know. It sucks that I am too poor to offer a prize. I would also love to shake my thang for Carson Daly on a stage in front of thousands of sexy frat boys. But, even though I cant offer you anything except a virtual hug for participating in this challenge, keeping track of the points is a good way to avoid letting yourself down. You aren't going to feel good after a zero point day, so why not try to see how long you can go without having one? Then,at the end of the month when you look like a total dreamboat, you can send yourself and your new hot body on the tropical vacation of a lifetime. And invite me. And pay for me. And tell everyone we meet how awesome I am. Oh wow, this is the best challenge ever.

One more thing...

I know that I have been obsessed with eating plain Chobani yogurt since the day Health Gone Wild was born (and it was not an easy delivery.) So I have some bad news about that. No more yogurt. No more cheese. No more dairy unless its Raw Milk. Raw Milk is unpasturized and you need to get it at a farm. If you're interested, let me know and I can tell you where I get mine. Its not gross. I was so freaked out by it, but its fine. The cows eat grass, not candy and corn (and maybe candy corns,) like the cows in those giant milking warehouses. This means they don't have ecoli or any weird diseases that could make you sick. I know that cutting out dairy is really strict, so if you want to take all 3 point days and have some plain greek yogurt, thats your call. No judgment here. But I will probably secretly hate you.

I am starting this challenge today. Its 9:39 am and so far, so good. I have been awake for almost 3 whole hours. Don't hesitate to email me with any questions about anything. Seriously, anything. I know a lot and I love gossip. Remember: meat, eggs, nuts (no peanuts), vegetables, fruit. If its not on that list, you probably can't eat it. Good luck!

Here are some pictures of food I ate this weekend.

This is a chicken. Its Nature's Promise from Stop and Shop. I also made meatballs to go with it to watch the Patriots game. Meatfest 2010 was a major hit.

These are scallops wrapped in bacon. These are so easy to make. Just cook the bacon a tiny bit, wrap it around the outside of the scallop like a tire (this way you can just cook the scallop right in the frying pan.) Little salt,pepper, and lemon. 2 minutes on each side in the pan. Notice they are half gone because I ate some before the picture was taken. Talk about rich people food, huh??????

Roast beef, broccoli, and mashed sweet potato with cinnamon and butter. This had me sound asleep by 9:30pm on Saturday.

This is Ned. He's sleeping off his depression because he doesn't have any balls anymore. Apparently castrations a real bitch.

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