A Lesson in Gluttony....

One of the good things about life is that its always teaching you lessons. This year, I learned that its impossible to eat correctly in the month of December. It really is. Christmas parties started for me as early as mid-month. I have had almost three weeks of eating my way through the end of 2010. And in all honesty, its been an effing wonderful time.

Another lesson I learned this year is that even though I am always going to be a big, fat face, gigantic foodie on the inside, exercise has kept me from becoming one on the outside. As the Reese Christmas Trees slowly took over as my main food source, I never skipped a workout because there was a chance I might have an accident mid box jump. Its easy to spend a day eating cookies and then skip the gym because your belly hurts. I never do that. I am ALWAYS in that gym no matter how sick I feel from funneling brownie batter in a g-string at bachelor parties to pay my rent (I do bars and house parties.) I learned my lesson that December is a hard month to eat healthy, and exercise saved me from exploding out of my pants (at least at the wrong moments.) Every little bit counts, so get your fat ass to the gym!

Today is December 29,2010. In three days it will be 2011. So, while I do not suggest setting your goals for the new year so high that you are destined to fail, this is a good time to think about what you want in this upcoming year. Do you want a puppy? Do you want to stop spending obscene amounts of money on headbands and stylish boots? Do you want a record deal? Do you want to wear a sports bra only to the gym this summer and be able to run around without people crying because you hit them in the eye with your jiggle belly? Are you me? These are my goals and I think they all are very reasonable and definitely going to come true. I am using the amount of disgusting food I consumed all month as a motivator to reach them. And when I am the world's skinniest pop sensation smoochin on my puppy and performing at the Superbowl, I promise not to forget the little people. I might forget the little people.

I am going to post again on New Year's Eve. A real tear jerking reflection of 2010 and why I think it has been the best year of my life with the exception of the year I got contacts. Trust me, pre 1997 Haley was not a good scene. But before New Year's Eve, I want everyone to think about achievable goals for 2011 and get in the mindset to make them happen. Think about the lessons that life taught you in 2010 , and figure out how you want to use what you learned in the upcoming year. I mean, I probably will buy so many headbands and boots next year that I am stealing money from AIDS fundraisers and shizz, but other than that I think I have my 2011 pretty much set in stone. And I can't effing wait.

Until then I am going to enjoy my last three days of the decade doing what I do best; eating, talking, and watching TV under a blanket. If you want to end your year the right way, I would suggest you follow my lead. See ya New Year's Eve!



Here I am looking so good on Christmas Eve.

PS: I REALIZE I SAID IT WAS DECEMBER 29TH AND IT IS NOT. BUT I DIDN'T CHANGE IT BECAUSE I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW I AM SO CRAZY FROM SUGAR THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS.