Friday, December 10, 2010

Happy Friday/Birthday to Noelle and Jim

Its Friday again. I don't even care though because I am sick as f*ck. Seriously. I feel like dick on wheels. Throat on fire, head pounding, breathing like Voldemort...the list goes on. I don't know if this is a result of my four day Thanksgiving carb/sugar binge, or just me being human and catching a cold. Either way this is bullshit and I am pissed.

To all you a-holes out there who don't feel like its the morning after a date with Ben Roethlisberger, happy Friday. I will be on my couch the whole weekend except Saturday when I celebrate the birth of not one but TWO of the people whose DNA is a 99% match to my own. Big shout outs to my sister Noelle, who turns 23 TODAY. Also holla at my boy Jimbo Slice who turns the big 1-6 on December 14th. They have been nice enough children to have a joint birthday party since Jim was born which sucks really bad for Noelle. If some freckly idiot came along and got all up in my birthday, I would be more pissed every single year than I was that one year I got wireless internet for my birthday. That really happened. And my mom referred to it as the “Piece de Resistance” or however the f*ck you spell that. Then she handed me a D-Link motem all wrapped up. This is my life.

Have fun getting your party on. I will be spending the weekend trying not to die, and hoping that Noelle and Jim get a copy of the electric bill with “you're welcome” written on it for their birthdays. Those two are so ridiculous by the way. Noelle asks for moon boots every year and Jim probably wants Osama Bin Laden's autograph on a piece of Ted Williams' dick. Seriously, the kid loves autographs. Too bad I got him socks. Anyways, enjoy the weekend! See ya Monday!

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