Friday, December 24, 2010


Christmas Eve! I like this effing day. Mainly because I get to bake all day and look like a homeless prostitute in my pajamas. However, I will be going to the gym this afternoon unlike a lot of you fatty round heads. I know, I know, you are just soooo busy decking the halls and stuffing your face with cookies and pies that you don't have a spare moment to wipe your ass, let alone workout. I don't believe you. Everyone has a half hour today where they can get in some sort of body movement. Go for a walk and admire how shiteous most people's Christmas lights are. Or take a nice jog over to my house and admire my Christmas Chair. Yeah, no tree. Too poor. Oh, well.

I truly mean it when I say that I hope that all my loyal readers have a great Christmas. I plan on eating, drinking, and talking so loud that everyone wants to kill me for the next two days, so I am pretty pumped. Even though Christmas is stressful, it is a nice day to be with your family and get some laughs at the expense of others. So drive carefully, eat like a maniac, and if the dysfunction becomes just too much to handle, call me and we will go get some Scorpion Bowls on you.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

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