Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Hilary Swank Enrages Me and the Rest of America
Hilary Swank struggled to gain weight for her role in new movie Conviction and forced herself to eat food even when she was full in order to bulk up.
The Million Dollar Baby star plays an unemployed single mother who earns a law degree so she can represent her brother in court in the film. Swank was required to put on 15 pounds for her part - but she found it hard work eating enough food to build up her svelte frame, and even gave up her regular workouts.
She tells New York Post newspaper columnist Cindy Adams, "I personally have difficulty keeping weight on, and for this role I had to add 15 pounds. My character, a single mom, hadn't any opportunity to stay fit. For my own needs, I like working out. But to gain weight I stopped that. Besides, this was an independent film. Small budget. We filmed long hours, long days. No time to work out."
"Normally I only eat until I'm full. On this shoot, I kept eating more. Even when I was full, I'd eat more. With nowhere to go, the weight stays on you."
Shut up. This is not something that you say when you want people to like you. “ Oh, look at me I can't get fat, everybody feel bad for me.” No. Hell no. The only reason I didn't personally write her some hate mail about this is because I don't know if she can read because I think one of her parents is a horse. Let me tell you something Hilary “ I literally looked like a dude in that movie about wanting to be a boy” Swank. It is VERY easy to look like a chubby,single mom. I rocked that look for YEARS without even having a kid that I can remember! And the weird thing is, I didn't get offered even one movie role. What the eff, Hil? You really think complaining about being too skinny is going to make you a fan favorite? I bet it will make you about as popular as those chapped lips you had at the end of Million Dollar Baby. Gross.
Alright. So aside from picking movie roles that make her look terrifying, Hilary Swank does not know how to appeal to the fatties who make up 3 quarters of America's population. But like I said, because she is not pretty, she can Butterface her way all over the planet broadcasting how thin she is and I could give a sheep's dick. I could gain 15 pounds for a movie role during the audition if I had to. All I would need is an XL order of Gold Fever Wings and someone to challenge me to a Case Race and I would have that leading role so fast the director would burst into tears and piss himself.
Bottom line: Gaining weight is not a crime, but for those of us who pack on pounds easily, its NOT COOL when people talk about the burdens of being naturally thin BECAUSE THERE ARE NONE. I have no effing clue what makes someone naturally thin but my most developed theory is that its a combination of starvation, lies, and deceptively pretending to eat a lot but really only taking 2 bites. Yea, because that sounds like a fun life. PASS. Hilary Swank, you aren't fooling anybody. I don't care how many Oscars you have, and how much money you make. I have a sick blog. Beat that!
Posted by Haley at 1:44 PM