Success is a strange concept. Everyone always says they want to be successful, but who defines what that really means? I mean, lets take Bret Michaels for example. The dude might look just like me, but that doesn't mean the same things make us feel successful. I definitely don't consider myself to be a huge success just because I pass my weekly chlamydia screening (which I do, most of the time.) That's the difference between me and Bret. He gets through another day where his bandanna doesn't fall off and you better believe it that he will be hopping in his Rock of Love Bus to pour champagne on a gaggle of trannies in celebration. I AT LEAST, have to get some sort of praise at work or something before I bring out the trannies. Bret is so friggin tacky.
But all feminine looking male celebrities aside, in 2010, a lot changed for me. I mean, the changing most likely started before 12:00am on 1/1/10, but if I had to pinpoint a specific time when my life had a major turnaround, I would have to say 2010. Prior to good ole' twenty-ten (ahh..the glory days,) I had been interpreting the idea of “success” all wrong. Success to me was what other people told me it was. I thought I was successful if the people around me were happy, even if I wasn't. If nobody was pissed off at me, I was doing everything right. And guess what? My life sucked. Thankfully, around the beginning of last year, as I began getting really into CrossFit and just paying more attention to my health in general, my eyes opened to the fact that I was living like an idiot. And no, I didn't drive drunk off a cliff or almost choke to death in a gang bang and have some “awakening” experience. I just slowly transitioned into a new lifestyle that encouraged looking inward to find my definition of success, rather than constantly trying to find it through others approval.
Once I began doing CrossFit and getting my diet in check I realized something important. Nobody is going to take care of me except for me. Taking care of myself physically made me feel and look great, and I began to realize that I was feeling better emotionally as well. In the past, when people had lashed out at me because I wasn't living life according to their rules, I had always assumed there was something wrong with ME and would feel so much remorse for upsetting a friend or family member that I would end up giving into their demands. 2010 Haley learned how to tell people to go f*ck themselves. If you care about me, you will be happy that I am living life the way I want to. If you want to bitch at me, like I said, go screw. I determine my own success these days, and to me that means, working out consistently, eating right, maintaining healthy relationships, and bringing positive energy to any situation I enter.
OK, enough angry black girl. The point I am trying to make here is that 2010 was the best year of my life so far. It was the year I started to alter my definition of success from pleasing others to pleasing myself (so obviously my dreams of someday being a call girl to the rich and famous went right out the window.) A huge part of this change is owed to my experiences with CrossFit. CrossFit provides a person with an environment that I have not witnessed anywhere else. It teaches people to take accountability. If you show up to class and suck so bad, you can't turn to the person next to you and yell at them for doing better than you. The only person you can blame is yourself. If you have a big ego or a bad attitude, you take one class and you don't come back. I've seen it a thousand times. CrossFit weeds out the wimps pretty quick. No whiny douchebags allowed. And being surrounded by non-whiny douchebags at CrossFit has helped me to see that I am a smart, funny, positive, unique, and GOOD person who does not need to tolerate being treated like dirt for not living my life the way other people think I should. Worry about yourselves people, and if you ever feel like you need a positive change, come check out a free intro class at CrossFit508. Separates the super cool from the super d-bags. Which one do you think you are?
All in all, 2010 was awesome. It was the year that I finally became me. It took something as consuming and challenging as CrossFit to help me realize that I had been living a life I wasn't loving. Now, I am happy everyday and I'm not lying. Obviously I have my moments where I scream and yell and want to commit heinous murders, but I no longer have that feeling of constant anxiety that the next choice I make is going to displease someone else. I was the battered wife of the world and now I am effing OJ Simpson...too much?
The reality is, you only get one life. You need to live the one life you get for YOU. If other people don't like it, who gives a f*ck. I am not speaking to those people out there who torture their loved ones with drug addictions and steal money from blind old ladies and act like total dicks. You people suck. I am talking to those people who are like me. The people who spent too much time basing their success off of what others thought. The people who just wanted to be happy, but didn't have the courage or the resources to make a change. This could be your year! 2010 was my year so you can't have it, but 2011 is up for grabs mofos! Its never too late to stop measuring your success by what others think, and start looking internally to find out what really makes you feel successful! Here is some added incentive: If you truly achieve personal success this year, and decide to throw yourself a little soiree...I will pose as Bret Michaels at the event. I'll even provide the trannies.
Happy 2011, everyone! May this be the year HGW (just made that up) gets its 20th follower!
This is a picture from Christmas Eve 2010 at CrossFit508. I didn't take the picture, it was put on Facebook. I didn't win a prize :( but as always, it was a great day!
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