Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Cooking Time!!!!!

Who loves eating? I love eating! Time for a fricken bitch ass recipe that I invented!!! It is a rare occasion when I post a recipe on here, which is ironic because that was the whole reason I started this blog. But, I am not the kind of person that can have unrestricted access to post whatever the f I want on the internet and be expected to keep it to strictly recipes and workouts. So today, lets go back to the humble beginning of HGW with a delicious recipe that will help you melt off those holiday pounds that are making you look like a big bloated weirdo. Its're fatter...but its nothing a little Paleo can't fix. Here we go!

Eggs Gone Wild

This recipe is great because it gives you an appropriate response for when some doucher out at the bar asks you if you'd like your eggs scrambled or fertilized in the morning. It also tastes good and only requires one pan (poor people friendly.)

I make this for two people usually, so if you are cooler than me and have a lot of friends just make more. You would have to be really stupid to not be able to increase this recipe.

6 eggs
one onion
one pepper
Frank's red hot
salt and pepper
sausage (optional but why the f*ck not?)

Step 1: Dice up the pepper and onion. As much as you would like. I use the whole pepper and about half an onion.

Step 2: Dice up sausage. If you are so awesome like me and have organic sausage that comes in the casing, I cut the casing open and squeeze out the inside so its more like ground beef. You could also just use ground beef.

Cooking Directions:

Step 1: Melt butter in frying pan or skillet. Make sure bottom of pan is covered in butter, please.

Step 2: Throw in the pepper and onion. Salt and pepper the shit out of it. Wait until its all a little brown so the peppers aren't super hard because that sucks.

Step 3:
Throw in your meat and move it all around a lot. More salt more pepper. Smash the meat into little bits. While this is happening, crack your eggs in a bowl, put in a splash of water and scramble them like there is no tomorrow (aka: move a fork around in the bowl so all the yolks break.)

Step 4: Add in a little salsa to the meat/veggie mix. However much you want. Couple heaping spoonfuls.

Step 5: Pour in the eggs. Directly into the pan and don't be nervous and ask 1000 times if you are supposed to do that. You are.

Step 6: With a spatula, move everything in the pan around a ton. Just keep flipping it all around with that spatula. While you are doing this, add some Frank's Red Hot and some more salsa if you want. More salt and pepper couldn't hurt either.

Step 7: When the eggs look cooked (yellow and fluffy with no brown burned parts) turn off the heat. Ready to serve immediately.

SIDE NOTE: I did not include cheese in this recipe as cheese is not Paleo. However, cheese is still low carb and delicious. I like to take a bag of shredded cheddar and just dump it on there during Step 7. Again, this is not Paleo if you use the cheese, homey.

So here is one answer to the most common question I get “ But, what do you eat for breakfast?” Try it out and let me know how it goes.

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