Friday, July 23, 2010

Food is your FRIEND.

WOW. Blog 2. Who would have thought we would make it this far? OK, no more jokes lets get down to business. The business, that is, of what YOU should be eating.
Some people say that how you look is 80% diet and 20% exercise. I tend to disagree with this a little bit. If you are exercising CORRECTLY its more like 60/40. But exercise is a blog for another day (tomorrow.) Today we are here to talk about food.

I eat like a caveman. Like a prehistoric human. Is that weird to you? I know it is. That's why I waited to hook you with my captivating words in my first blog to get you to trust me. I scammed you and it worked. Sucka. But, its true. The way of eating (I HATE the word diet) that I follow is referred to as Paleolithic. If you don't want to walk around like a giant freak telling everyone you are a caveman, another way to refer to it is to say “ I prefer to eat all natural, thank you.” Easy as pie (except cavemen don't eat pie so get that out of your big fat head.)

The reason I choose to eat in this way is because it is the manner in which humans were meant to eat. Simple. I am pretty sure there were no 100 Calorie Packs of Cheez-Its in Year One. So why do you want to eat them in 2010? You don't. They contain no nutrients and you are never satisfied with that stupid tiny package, stop pretending you are. You and I both know you are going to eat the whole box in two days anyways so stop kidding yourself. Tiny packs of snacks are for idiots, and you are reading this blog which makes you NOT an idiot. So ditch the Cheez-its, dinkus. And while you're at it ditch the Rice Cakes, wheat thins, and gaaaaaaassssssssp even your precious hummus. Cue hate mail. I will never understand the hummus craze that seems to have taken over the world. But we need to move on, so throw it away, shed a few tears if you need to, and keep reading.

Your very first stop on the Caveman Express is to ditch ALL grains. And I mean all. Wheat bread is NOT any better for you than white bread. It is so processed by the time it is edible that there is not one nutrient left in there at all. Google it. Some companies like to add fiber to their bread, big frickin deal. A caveman gets his fiber from fruits and vegetables and now, you do too. I am sure you knew this was coming, but you now can no longer eat pasta, rice, or potatoes. These foods make you have a big fat belly. They also cause your insides to be inflamed, as the human body is not designed to ingest grains. Inflammation causes slower recovery after workouts and muscle pain which sucks. It sucks have to sit down like a 90 year old because your hamstrings hurt from working out. Grains are only going to make that worse, so say your goodbyes Grandma.

Lastly, and probably the most devastating of all the restrictions is sugar. No sugar. I break this rule one day a week. Once a week I go out and get myself an ice cream. Not a low fat ice cream, because Cavegirl knows better. You see, if you stick with this new and wonderful lifestyle for about a week, your body will begin to run off your excess fat. Then, when you are a sexy skinny-mini, it will be trained to run off the fat you take in through your diet. Fat is the body's natural energy source. Baked Lays are not the body's natural energy source. Therefore, once you cut out all those ridiculous carbs you thought you needed for energy, you need to replace them with a combination of fat and protein. Just trust me on this one. If you want an ice cream once a week, fine. Just make it REAL ice cream and NO cone. Don't even try it! (Sidenote: You can eat your own birthday cake.)

If all this seems like a lot to process in one day, use that old rule we have all heard over and over since Elementary School health class. Shop only around the perimeter of the grocery store. With the exception of orange juice (too carb dense, and you get your Vitamin C from delicious leafy greens now) you should be OK. And don't be hesitant to make a stop at the local package store on the way home for a six pack of delicious Miller Lites!! Or if you are classier than me, get some wine. Just stay away from the Twisted Teas, Margaritas, and all those drinks that high school girls love so much. Cavemen wouldn't be caught dead drinking a Smirnoff Ice and they had muscles and could beat your ass up.

I am going to give a very basic list of foods to stick to as a new Paleo eater. I would love to answer any questions anyone has. I am not a scientist, so some of the things I told you about how this lifestyle influences your body you may be wondering more about. A simple Google search of Paleo Diet will yield some great results. And really, thanks for coming back to read my second blog entry ever. :)


Meat – Especially grass fed beef and free range chicken. Nature's Promise at Stop and Shop has chicken and pork products that are pretty good. Grass fed beef you can typically find at local farms or farmer's markets. Regular meat will do just fine as well if you are on a budget like me.

Vegetables – Green is the best color. Limit carrots and REALLY limit corn. One delicious corn on the cob has the same glycemic index as a king sized Milky Way. Try to aim for about a cup of green vegetables per meal. Suggestion: grill up peppers, onions, zucchini and summer squash.

Fruit – Berries are the way to go. Strawberries burn belly fat and taste so good. Blueberries contain antioxidants and you can put them right into your plain Chobani! Limit bananas as they are pretty carb dense.

Nuts – Nuts should be raw not roasted. Trader Joe's has a great selection of raw nuts. Peanuts are a bean not a nut and should be avoided. So no peanut butter allowed. Beans are full of toxins and cannot be eaten raw. These toxins are still there in small amounts once cooked, and can lead to autoimmune deficiencies in the body. Same deal with chickpeas and hummus. Sorry. Raw Almond Butter is an awesome substitute for your beloved PB. Trader Joe's has that too. Try the crunchy kind. I go through about a jar of that stuff a week. I don't have a hummus substitute, but you might have some luck finding one in my cat's litterbox.

Water – I try to drink ONLY water. The problem with diet soda is that it is still sweet which spikes your insulin, triggering your body to hold onto fat. Whats worse, since there are no calories, the insulin spike reaction from the diet soda leaves your body searching for calories that aren't there, and you will start to feel hungry even if you are not. My advice, the more water the better. Don't drink juice either. Not any kind. Its calories and carbohydrates with no necessary nutrients at all.

Dairy- Dairy is optional. I choose to eat dairy. Plain Greek yogurt, hard Parmesan cheese, and melted cheese on a burger is all fine. I have some great cheesy recipes for later blogs. For milk, raw milk is best. You will need to find a farm for this. If that idea is too much for you, go with a cup a day of whole milk. Skim milk loses all its nutrients during processing and is honestly the equivalent of drinking water with calories so lower the portions and go for whole. Also, if you drink coffee have it with cream.
As far as yogurt goes, the same rule applies to those “Lite” yogurts as does to diet soda. You don't want to be that hagged looking broad in that commercial blabbing on the phone to her friend about all her favorite yogurt flavors and calling her husband “babe” forty thousand times. Plain Greek Yogurt is the only kind you should eat.

Here is what I ate today. This is a pretty standard day for me. You will notice I don't snack, as my body has learned to feel full on less food throughout the day. In the beginning of this diet I had an afternoon snack (yogurt, protein shake) so please, don't be scared to eat if you feel hungry.

2 eggs fried in butter (cooking sprays turn to trans-fat when you heat them up, worst kind of fat!)
1 oz. Parmesan cheese
A few slices of avacado
Two tablespoons of salsa for the eggs. (Trader Joe's Double Roasted is great.)
4 Strawberries.

3oz Stop and Shop Rotisserrie Chicken. (not the healthiest chicken but it has great flavor!)
1 cup mixture of summer squash and spinach
9 almonds (for my healthy fat. You must have healthy fat at every meal.)

Serving size of Plain Chobani mixed with two tablespoons of almond butter, a scoop of whey protein powder and Cinnamon.
2 oz grilled chicken breast
4 strawberries

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