Wednesday, July 21, 2010


Hi! So this is my first blog of all time. If you hate it, thats fine but if you like what you read COME BACK! I'll be posting my exercise and diet plans (almost) daily. This little introductory post should give you an idea of what's to come. I may not be Perez Hilton, but who wants to be that giant freak anyways?

I am not asking anyone to be impressed with me. I am not asking anyone to admire me. I am just hoping that maybe, some of you can relate to me. I have done nothing to marvel at. I would love to be able to say that you are about to read the blog of someone who has accomplished great things, but lies aren't going to get me anywhere. I have never swam with sharks. I never survived a life threatening disease. Hell, I have to use every ounce of courage I have to get on a frickin amusement park ride. But I have done one thing that I consider to be the hardest and most rewarding challenge of my life. I successfully lost thirty pounds in seven years.

DON'T STOP READING. I know that sounds ridiculous. After all, seven years is a long-ass time. And it was certainly a long-ass time for me of eating wheat bread, drinking skim milk, and running (slowly) for up to six miles a day. This went on for six and a half years until I decided I had had ENOUGH of that big fat body. The world no longer needed to witness me jiggling down the street, eating my Nutri-Grain bars thinking I was on the path to the body of my dreams. After six and a half years of squeezing into low rider jeans (yikes) and consuming a diet based mostly on carbohydrates, I was one fed up fatty. I told you I lost thirty pounds in seven years, but maybe I should be more specific. In seven years of TRYING I lost thirty pounds. But, in the last six months of those seven years, my life has changed for what I hope will be forever. So listen up there all you dieters cramming your bodies into Spanxx on a daily basis. I just may be able to make you the skinniest bitch at the party. All I ask is that you give me this chance to elaborate...

There is a lot of food in the world. Again, maybe I should be more specific. For the average American there is a lot of food in the world. In fact, I am unsure if you could even fit anymore food into my world. Everyday on my way to work I pass McDonalds, Burger King and about thirty thousand Dunkin Donuts. Every night when I finish my dinner, my mind automatically drifts toward a vision of me smiling my way through the DQ drive-thru and snatching up a nice blizzard to inhale. In my world, there is always some high calorie, low quality food about five minutes away from my mouth should I choose to give into my fat girl fantasies. Yet, these days I can proudly say that I rarely cave to these delicious temptations. But that was CERTAINLY not always the case.

To be honest, I was not actually an overweight child or teenager which is absolutely shocking considering the amount of Powdered Donettes I could put back in a day. But, just like thousands of college girls before me, after three months in the collegiate world, the seemingly wonderful combination of keg parties and late night pizza left me with the dreaded combination of a pretty decent sized gut and a muffin top. Who wants to party?

I knew my “large and in charge” figure had to go if my milkshake was ever going to bring all the boys to the yard, so I took it upon myself to spend the rest of my college career eating in a way that I thought was healthy. Cheese pizza? Yes please, there is no fatty meats on there. Turkey sandwich? Why yes thank you,wheat bread is good for you. Kashi cereal? Oh, what a delicious low calorie snack! But no matter how much fat I cut from my diet, I couldn't lose a pound.

I was able to stick to the Atkins Diet for about three days and Weight Watchers ended just as quickly as it started. Bottom line? After all this “dieting” I was still lookin' a hot mess! It wasn't until as recently as 2009 when I discovered Crossfit and a way of eating to be named later in this blog that I had the biggest epiphany of my 24 years on this planet. EVERYTHING I knew about fitness and nutrition was a LIE. Thus, whether you like it or not, I feel it is necessary to spread this knowledge to anyone who will listen. So say goodbye to your “Lite and Fit” yogurts and your slow paced ten mile jog my friends. This former carboholic slow runner is going to turn you into one of the healthiest people in the world

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