Happy Easter!!! Easter is the worst. For some reason I used to get excited about it when I was a little freak child. We would leave out carrots and I would ask tons of questions about the Easter Bunny's mode of transportation. But now I don't really care about Easter, because last year I got Nick a giant basket filled with candy AND Paleo food, AND I woke up at 5am to display it perfectly on the kitchen table, and WHAT DID I GET IN RETURN? Nothing. A giant teeth smile. I hate that kid.
I shouldn't have even mentioned Easter because now I feel like I am keeping secrets if I don't tell everyone that my family is going to the 99 to celebrate the resurrection. This is not a joke. I mean, I am not complaining because my Dad will pay for it and they have 22oz Wachussett Blueberries on draft, but wtf is wrong with my family? I am going to show up wearing the Easter outfit I had on in a picture I recently found of myself ; a blue, long-sleeved dress, white tights, white shoes with buckles, a white straw hat suctioned to my giant head, and holding a balloon that says Happy Easter. The picture was taken last year.
Since it is the Friday before a holiday, this is pretty much the obligatory “don't go too crazy you huge, gigantic, disgusting, fatass” post. I am going to eat some Reese eggs and over a thousand Sour Patch Kids, but I am really going to try to keep my meals as Paleo and gluten free as possible. When I eat gluten I get pimples and that's not sexy. If I am ever going to find a boyfriend who will buy me an Easter basket I can't be rolling around town with a zit face. Gross.
If you don't celebrate Easter, you should just use this day as an excuse to eat candy and drink. I do that all the time when I see that other people are having fun at events I wasn't invited to. If I go on Facebook and see one person's status saying they are at a party, I am instantaneously out the door to buy a 30 pack and some onion dip for a one man bender. Fun is my middle name. Just kidding its Marie, Just kidding its Sex Warrior.
Happy Easter!
that outfit sounds so cute... i'm sure you looked so elegant in it. i wore something similar last year, floral puffy dress, white tights, buckled shoes, white straw hat and my hair so curly it looked like i just walked out of an 80s paula abdul video. i was also crying. nothing has changed in a year.
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